1000 Things We Hate #7: Fruit Growing Neighborly Folk etc.

9 09 2009

I really hate people who insist on growing fruit in their front yards, but get very angry when people come and pick & eat said fruit when they hardly even touch their plants.

This photograph somewhat demonstrates my point… despite it being a very bad photo.  If I’m walking along the street and you have an apple tree within reaching distance of the sidewalk and I’m hungry, then I’m taking an apple.

Just look at what some deceiving people did to this girl when she tried to pick an apple:

That’s right… they poisoned the apples.  That girl is currently in the process of dying in this photograph.  The orange stains on her shirt surely represent her coughed up vomit instead of the spaghetti she ate earlier at dinner time that she accidentally spilled onto her dress.  Plus, those people put search lights that come on when people come near their apple tree to catch them in the act!  How dasterdly!

Alright, alright… this hasn’t exactly happened to me yet, but I’ve imagined, “what would I do if someone came out of that house and yelled at me for eating one of their apples…”  I can understand why they would be distraught.  The fertile (Tacoman) soil that that apple or plum or grape or pear or tomato or cherry or whatever other fruit I’ve taken came from their property… but I feel like I’m relieving the plant and the owners… that’s one less thing they have to pick.  Plus, in most cases, I only pick from the trees, vines, or plants that have the most fruit on them.  If I didn’t pick and eat the occasional apple or whatever, then I bet it would have been wasted!  Sure, I’m reassuring myself to make my alleged fruit stealing guilt-free… but it makes sense.

Then again, that may be why I only go out at night…


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