Some things in life were seemingly made just to disgust people… that’s obviously the case with jeans that have no back/butt pockets.
I’m having a pretty good day today. Our new kitten (Sabretooth) is sleeping in my lap, and I get to write a paper about The Daily Show. Later, guests are coming over for a dinner potluck and a movie… so, nothing really to inspire hate… except I remembered someone I saw at the humane society wearing jeans with no pockets yesterday…
Have you ever been at the supermarket or some other store and seen a really obese person with these… that’s the worst. Typically, these types of jeans are commonly worn by latinas who want to show off their big butts.
Well, I hate to break it to you crazy women of the world… but jeans with no back pockets are by far one of the worse pieces of clothing ever developed. Not only do they make your ass look like a gigantic, misshaped bulge, they have less pockets (which are one of the greatest things invented!) and sort of ruin any sort of hope you have at being stylish.
Now, here’s the art of why jeans with no back pockets make you look terrible:
- The less the details on the back, the more we have to actually acknowledge that that’s your ass in your jeans and have something less to stare at.
- Pockets offer a break and some more interestingly intricate detail on the jeans… without the pockets, the jeans just look plain cheap.
- Your ass actually looks bigger and more attractive with pockets. Think about it, the pockets add an extra bulge in the back.
- A lot of dumbasses (in high school, primarily) wore jeans with no pockets with normal underwear and not a thong. Equally disgusting are underwear lines.
- You basically look like a loser if you try to pull these off. Celebrities don’t go near this shit.
So, please, every person who owns a pair of these monstrosities, do yourself and me a favor by promptly burning them. Otherwise, I may vomit on you if I see these in person again.
Ahoy! More 1000 Things We Hate awaits you!