1000 Things We Hate #11: People Who Wear Fake Glasses

19 12 2009

#11: People Who Wear Fake Glasses

Why the fuck do people feel the need to wear glasses when they don’t need them? Do you honestly think that you’re going to trick people into thinking that you look “cool” or “intelligent”? Well you don’t, because both of those things went out the window when you put on those frames with plastic lenses fuckers.

See, this man is not fooling anyone; we can clearly see that he is still old.

Perhaps I’m biased because I’ve had to wear glasses all of my goddamn life, and I can’t actually SEE without them. This gets to be a little frustrating when other people are faking it, and get to wear them without necessity. I mean, when they take off their adorably chunky hipster frames, they can still see the sign that says, “Danger: collapsed bridge ahead”, so that they can safely avoid it without careening into a never-ending abyss filled with fire, heretic forks, judas chairs, and other dodgy medieval-looking torture devices; or am I describing hell, I don’t know, I get them mixed up sometimes. Either way, landing crotch down on anything spiky is never favorable.


But, my point is, despite this round-about way of saying it, I can’t see without these blasted glasses! So I don’t understand why people find it enjoyable to wear them when they have no practical fucking use; isn’t that fair?

See, he just looks like an asshole.

I don’t know when being legally blind went into fashion, but it should stop immediately.

I’m not even going to begin to explain everything that is wrong with this picture.



12 responses

14 07 2010


My name is Suyeon, a journalim student at Medill at Northwestern University. I am currently writing an article on trend, the focus being fake glasses, and was hoping you would be willing to answer the following questions.

I am looking to pitch this story to a professional or local newspaper, so publication is in mind.

Thank you!

•Why do you believe this trend is not worth following?
•What are some negative effects you see from the rise of this trend?
•Why do you think the glasses are becoming popular even though some frown upon them?
•How long do you think it will take before the trend wears out?
•How have you acted towards friends who follow this trend?
•What type of people do you think the trend is the most popular among? Ex. Indie, rocker, female/male, age group, etc.

14 07 2010

Hey there Suyeon,

Thanks for your questions, they are always appreciated. I’ll do my best to answer them for you, however this is certainly only my opinion, and I’m sure that many are not nearly as harsh on the matter.

– These glasses have become popular due to the explosion of the once counter-culture “hipster” scene, though at this point it is no longer counter-culture at all, merely what has become apart of the monotony of all around culture. The idea was to bring something new and fresh to the table through the strong influence of music and intelligence. Because of this the popular thing became listening to specific kinds of music as well as the idea of intelligence. The idea is to go along with the stram of things, even if perhaps you don’t follow, and if intelliegence is popular than you have to do everything in your power to emit intelligence, even if you don’t have so much of that. Nerdiness is “in”, some might say. And don’t get me wrong, if more people were simply trying to become more intelligent that would be different. I would be more than ecstatic about that because than more people would be realizing what is going on in the world. However, they are merely following a trend, following wherever the stream might take them, which is only sinking them further into the consumerist mindset, they follow what they are told to follow. And if they were truly intelligent they would certainly be a bit more weary about blindly following those they percieve to be in power. This can put people in a very precarious situation. Blindly following those in power leads to disaster, the key is to question your surroundings, and especially those in every day life. I do believe it was Mark Twain who once said, “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
– I see fake glasses on a variety of people, men, women, hipsters, etc.
– I’m sure that this trend is soon to move on, I have no doubt. At this point, the trendy “hipster” look is dying, if not already dead. I know that I for one am looking forward to something new. A new century deserves a new look, does it not? It’s about time this whole thing was over. I’m tired of seeing mullets and short-shorts everywhere. However, I don’t think they’re quite done, the next decade they are about to attack is the 90s, i’ve seen too many rollerblades for my own good already. It’s happening, be prepared. And at one point they’re just going to come around full circle and land on top of their own trends. Won’t that be ironic.
– But yes, I do know those who I have seen sporting the fake glasses trend. My youngest sister was indeed one of them, but I make my opinion quite clear to those who are in need of hearing it.
– But I can’t simply dismiss everyone in the wide genre I have placed them in. Honestly, as long as you’re fully aware of what’s going on around you I don’t care how you dress. Just don’t be stupid about it.

So I hope that answered most, if not all, of your questions. If you have any more I would be happy to answer them for you, just let me know.

Thanks again,
Monique Vieu

15 07 2010

I would like to think that I’m a true geek (I prefer the term over nerd because one rhymes with squeek and the other rhymes with turd). So, I get really frustrated when I see those stylish, worn-out tees of comic book characters and I confront the person (in my head) over whether or not they know a single storyline from that character. In my mind, they don’t. Like my fucking housemate. Sorry, if you can’t tell me who Dex-Starr is, then you don’t deserve to wear a fucking red lantern shirt, dumbass.


15 07 2010

I already sent these through e-mail, but I figured future readers might want to see my opinion with Monique’s, too.

Hey Suyeon,
I most typically subscribe to my co-writers’ other hates, and I believe I can also voice an opinion with the questions asked (even though mine may not be as vehement as Monique’s). I hope these can provide another source of data for your studies:

1.) The trend of fake glasses is like a burr that’s been shoved into a cat’s eye: there’s lots of squealing, pain, and scratching. The trend is so ridiculous because it defeats the purpose of eyewear; no longer are the eyeglassed over/under privileged in their necessary accessory. The ridiculous point of fake glasses is merely out of a misconstrued version of irony. However, this irony is just in poor taste and a little insulting.

2.) I would like to imagine some gigantic battle between the eyeglassed and the fake eyeglassed in some cataclysmic apocalypse scenario, but I doubt that fantasy will ever play out. The reality is that most people don’t even realize that this trend is happening unless you live in an urban setting and are between the ages of 15-30. Even then, it may be easy to miss. I feel like there’s just a lot of judgment to be thrown around from the guilty party to others or vis versa. There’s no radical upheaval, but just a simmer of indifference.

3.) I suppose the easy answer is that the people who wear fake glasses do so to emulate the social stigmas that go around wearing real glasses. Whether this may be in an ironic way or the reality of the common traits applied to wearing glasses is probably up to the individual. The connotative symbol of wearing glasses is appearing smarter and/or in a private crowd of other glasses wearers. So, the wearers of fake glasses are assumingly doing this to utilize/comment/or fit in on that.

4.) I don’t think this trend will wear out completely. Like most trends, there will probably be a great deal of morphing from one trend to another. Right now, it’s people purely wearing fake glasses. Perhaps, this may change to people justifying wearing glasses by getting the lowest prescription possible. The infancy period of this trend will probably be from 5-10 years, though.

5.) I do not have friends who follow this trend probably because I ween them out.

6.) Refer to my answer for #2.

30 07 2010
Hannah Haugen

This is one of the worst things to ever come out of the hipster fad. These people deserve to be shot. And, no this is not nearly extreme enough.

27 10 2010

I absolutely agree with absolutely everything written here! I’ve had to wear glasses since I was seven and I can see without them but everything is kind of blurry and if you want me to look at distances, forget about it.

I honestly hate those people that wear glasses for absolutely no reason, whatsoever. In my opinion, it’s worse than wearing sunglasses indoors / at night , or both. I never used to really get annoyed with it because I’m not face with people wearing fake glasses for the sake of fashion but at my gym, recently, they’ve started showing a music video that is just constantly repeated which is a song called “Good Times” by Roll Deep Featuring Jodie Connors. In said video, Jodie Connors spends about half of the video frolicking around in the back of a Taxi-Cab wearing some, very obviously, fake glasses.. Since seeing that so much it actually really got to me that this woman was advertising the idea of wearing fake glasses in order to make yourself look “sexy”, “cool” and “intelligent” when she didn’t need them. I know that there are now a load of people out there probably going out to buy fake glasses in order to copy her / follow the trend. It really annoys me.

It just makes me think, how would they like it if it were them who had to wear glasses constantly and the rest of us just wore them for fun?

5 11 2010

I hate the fake glasses trend because when it is over, and I still have to wear glasses, people might think I am some kind of hipster asshole who is too slow to catch on to the next stupid trend. Maybe fake hearing aids or maybe some kind of fake psychiatric meds that come in one of those little prescription bottles with a fake customized label with their name on it for authenticity. They could casually pop the pills in social situations to give the impression of being a mentally disturbed “creative type.” Damn, I think I just gave away a million dollar idea there.

28 06 2011
1000 Things We Hate #169: Put on My Eyes « MechanisticMoth

[…] so you suck if you do.  There are some people who can see but choose to be cool and wear some scene, fake glasses.  Luckily, I’m not incredibly foolish like those […]

8 10 2011

I think there is nothing wrong with wearing false specs, it’s no different from wearing any other accessory. I have always wanted to wear Michael Caine Ipcress File styled specs, wear tweed and shirts and ties, so I am certainly not a subscriber to ‘geek shic’, or any other vacuous fashion. No one is trying to offend people who need glasses, it’s just that one might look more attractive or intelligent (or whatever the desirable trait may be).

3 01 2012
1000 Things We Hate #215: Dirty Glasses « MechanisticMoth

[…] out the master list.  I’d suggest reading about those “cool” hipsters that wear fake glasses. GA_googleAddAttr("AdOpt", "1"); GA_googleAddAttr("Origin", "other"); […]

4 01 2012
1000 Things We Hate #215: Dirty Glasses « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] out the master list.  I’d suggest reading about those “cool” hipsters that wear fake glasses. Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this […]

6 01 2013

I have extremely bad vision so I know what it’s like to depend on them an I agree 100%. Personally I find it insulting. Glasses are really annoying and I have been wearing them since first grade. To see people turning one of my greatest hatreds into a fashion statement… If the “hipsters” wanna wear glasses maybe they can take my bad vision to.

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