1000 Things We Hate #20: Pantylines

21 01 2010

A staple of the +40 crowd.

My Mom suggested this one… she actually got really riled up about it.

To begin things, Pantylines are only acceptable on little girls in the 11 and under crowd.  Why?  Because they don’t fucking know better.

Okay with me, it's a baby.

Pantylines honestly make the world a worse place.  Sort of like certain Supreme Court Ruling (go corporations equaling people to make some sweet-ass campaign vids) that came out today…
I’m still not exactly sure on what the purpose of underwear is.  Nevertheless, I suppose it helps protect your nether-regions a bit more than just a pant would.  People frankly don’t want to know what you have underneath what they’re seeing.

Plus, Pantylines suggest that you (the arbitrator) really don’t have the time, class, decency or whatever to just make sure that your incredibly too tight of pants past your age aren’t showing those granny panties underneath.

You don’t care about your godawful appearance.

The most common color or types of pants pantylines occur are in: khaki, white, bland pastel colors, jean skirts, or sweatpants.

Even a slight hint of a line makes a viewer ready to vomit into the throats of some starving child.

Now, how about some solutions for this problem?
Obviously, we could go with a thong.  However, I frankly don’t believe that some 50 year old ladies want to get down with the thong.

My suggestion: just stop wearing clothes that are too tight on your bottoms.  I understand that most of the underwear showing off in pantylines are comfortable granny panties, but occasionally the perpetrator could opt for something that may prevent pantylines.  Tights may help when wearing a skirt, I just thought of.

According to howtogetridofstuff.com, they suggested wearing clingy briefs or boxers because they’re not just for boys.  They also suggested that the best way to get rid of pantylines are boy-short mesh pantylines because they’re tight but made of mesh so they don’t leave any visible lines.  Compression shorts also may work.

They also told me to say “no” to cotton, and, when all else fails, go commando.

Thanks!  Now, I’ll never have pantylines again… except I’m a boy.  So, I never had the problem to begin with.

However, I do not believe the strapless thong will help anyone in any sort of way:

Tape, you are a bitch.

Yes, that may be the nearest thing to nudity that will ever be on this blog.  Sorry everyone you comes to this site searching for “Atom Eve Nude” or some other ridiculous thing…


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6 responses

24 01 2010
Sarah

there is only one thing worse then this and that is pants that are see-threw. and the only thing worse than that is when you can see that they have a wedgie. I’ve seen my fair share of all of this and I really wish I wouldn’t have.

8 02 2010
1000 Things We Hate #23: Leggings as Pants « MechanisticMoth

[…] If you don’t wear a thong underneath, then you get the dreaded pantylines (see: #20: Pantylines) […]

18 09 2010
1000 Things We Hate #102: Distressed Jeans « MechanisticMoth

[…] big problem with those things that you wear on your bottom half.  From Leggings to Jeggings to Underwear Lines to Pajama Pants to Pants (more than likely jeans) with no back pockets.  We are verrrry picky on […]

19 12 2010
1000 Things We Hate #125: Whale Tail « MechanisticMoth

[…] the practicality of a thong when someone wants to wear a clingy dress or something to prevent underwear lines. Hot chick and guns = strange but enticing bedfellows… for the generalized conservative, of […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #10: Jeans with No Back Pockets « MechanisticMoth

[…] more involving the pants you wear, check out: Panty Lines, Leggings, Jeggings, and pants with holes in […]

11 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #222: Man Ass « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] a fan of man ass, what about female ass?  Check out previous posts: Jeans with No Back Pockets, Pantylines, Whaletail, and Tramp […]

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