1000 Things We Hate #27: The Magic Sword

8 03 2010

A similar frightened expression washed my face as I viewed this film

To begin things: Troy, shut up.

This is by far my most hated film of all time.

It was meant to be a children’s film back in 1962.  It will never be able to be watched again by children or adults.

Here’s the situation:  About 4 or 5 years ago, Aaron and I were looking for a movie to watch before going to sleep which was our normal weekend routine.  I happen to have a lot of movies back at home because we got them from when my Grandpa died.  He was a bastard by buying this film.  Seriously, what possessed him to do this?  This is one of those films you find in the dollar bin at Wal-Mart, if even.

Anyway, here Aaron and I spot this and the title is so ridiculously simple it has to be a joke.  My dad casually asks, “hey, what are you guys going to watch” I exclaim, “THE MAGIC SWORD!” He then replies, “egggh, that movie’s awful.”

This is one of those few times in my life in which I wish I would have trusted my Dad’s opinion on film.

Aaron and I began watching it.

Prototypical medieval plot.

Aaron’s asleep within 20 minutes.

I still desperately try to make jokes about how stupid/bad it is.

To no avail, it is wickedly awful.

I finish the film by some chance without blowing my brains out with a candlestick and a magic 8 ball.

Aaron is still sleeping.

I head into the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and I promptly begin to weep.

DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM!  There’s really no doubt as to why it’s rated a 3.2 on IMDB.

Upon investigating, however, I found out that it was on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and they apparently kinda liked it.  For once, Mystery Science Theater 3000, you failed too.

Fuck, the lead actor’s name is Basil, dammit.

A princess, a puppet dragon, a $2 budget, and bad acting does a bad film make

What’s the lesson of this?

Just don’t watch this film, fuck lessons.


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16 07 2010
1000 Things We Hate #71: Redneck Zombies « MechanisticMoth

[…] it made me sleepy.  Everything was lacking from this film making it the second worst film (next to The Magic Sword, of course) I have ever […]

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