1000 Things We Hate #33: Litterbox Reminders

4 04 2010

That evil stare lets you know what they're plotting.

Alright, emotionally, I’ve had a hard week.  I know I’ve been gunning for Hate Week for the last couple of weeks, but I was really at a point where I probably wasn’t going to post on the very first day of Hate Week.  Well, you can thank Sabretooth for reminding me how fucking pissed off I get when:

You just cleaned the litter box, and your cat just sneaked by ten seconds later to leave another, new present.

The litter is never this clean.

Now, I’m not running a fancy system.  I’ve got the plastic tub that was $2 at the Humane Society, some $15 litter, and a scooper for the cat.  I go about every 3-5 days for scooping the box, and then every two or three weeks completely empty it and wiping it down.  I’m okay with this.  Sure, it’s a little frustrating when I’m walking down the stairs and I get just about level to the closet at the end of the hallway and get a nice whiff of fresh kitty poop between steps 9 and 6 after only the day before cleaning the box.  I don’t want my housemates to think that I’m lazy… or that I let my cat shit in a box.

You sly bastard.

I have a really low gag reflex.  So, it takes a lot to build myself up to go and grab the little scooper and scrape the shit and piss haphazardly thrown around by my little beast.  I mean, hell, it’s annoying enough that the little multi-colored poop flicks about half of the litter that’s in the box outside of it.

However, the most goddamn insulting thing a cat can do is to watch you clean their litter box, and then promptly go and shit in it right after you’re done, ready to turn and throw the plastic bag in the trash.

Seriously!?

Why the fuck did you have to do that!?

Aren’t we connected enough for you to take a godfuckin fresh one before I go and enter into the toxic combination of shit fumes and chemicals to dissipate the shit fumes?

Even worse: Sabretooth will stare right at me as she’s pinching one out saying, “HA! Fuck you, you mothafucka.  This is for not throwing that last hair tie down the stairs for me.”

So, Sabretooth, you have succeeded in infuriating me for the day.  I’m not going to use the laser pointer again (tonight), I’m not going to make cute noises at you, I am going to scowl and snap in your face.  You dirty, dirty, humane society cat.

(I still love you)


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2 responses

6 04 2010
girlinlike

Hahahhaa.
Sabre, you sneaky devil, you.

16 03 2011
Bob

I actually have a bumper sticker on my car that says “My kid beat up a honor student.” No joke. I actually do and so many people look at me and I just ignore them.

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