1000 Things We Hate #40: Shower before Swimming and Waiting

7 04 2010

Goddammit, just let them in.

Time for some clarification: I am completely for showering before getting into a pool because I don’t want all that oily shit floating around and getting on me while I’m swimming… nor do I want dirt and all that other stuff to get into my mouth when I accidentally inhale 16 gallons of water while possibly drowning.  That is not ideal, not ideal at all.

So, what’s the big, goddamn deal?  Well, this is it:

High School.

Swim Lessons.

Shower; get the nasty nasty off your nasty nasty.

Sit on the metallic bleachers.

Shiver.

Wait for every fucking person to come out.

Shiver.

Shiver.

Shiver.

Roll Call.

Shiver.

Shiver.

Oh, I’m dry now.

Shiver.

Time to get into the fucking cold ass pool.

Trust me, these kids are not happy... Nor warm.

Now, I have the unfortunate opportunity (as does Monique) of being really fucking skinny all of my life.  So, what’s better than to sit and freeze my ass off with the door open in fucking January when it’s 8 below outside for a skinny person?  Oh yeah, to then get dry and jump into the pool to then be scared shitless to get back out of the pool.

Is there anything satisfying about high school swim lessons or swim lessons in general for these reasons?  No.  Not at all… okay, maybe learning how to swim… and especially taking that warm, lovely shower afterward to get all of the chlorine and fume-yness off of you… except for all of the naked people you are now around.

I shiver.  I die.  That is the process.

High School Gym… you tortured me during swim lessons.  I’m glad I kicked everyone’s ass… except for that one time when I did a double front flip belly flop from the high-dive… fuck.

Dreaming of death after the freezing outside.

 For more on the awesome event that is showering (when it’s warm of course), check out Warm Shower, Cold Bathroom!  And, as well, perfecting the Shower Temp!

Did you enjoy the hate? Well then, spread it like herpes!  Enjoy the Master List!


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3 responses

4 06 2010
trishothinks

Please tell me those women aren’t the swim coaches. All swim coaches I know are in awesome shape (from swimming duh) lol.

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #49: Perfecting the Shower Temp. « MechanisticMoth

[…] We use foul language.  Shame on us, but when you’re put in the situation of Showering before Swimming, Warm Shower-Cold Bathroom, or Shower Hair, you might […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #55: Shower Hair « MechanisticMoth

[…] sure seem to be popular at 1000 Things We Hate, check out: Warm Shower-Cold Bathroom, Shower before Swimming, or Adjusting the Temp! Advertisement Eco World Content From Across The Internet. Featured on […]

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