1000 Things We Hate #41: Slow Internet

8 04 2010


Let me do something that is obviously bitchy: Slow internet.  Why? Because, when I want to watch that goddamn 5 second video of someone tying their shoes in some new, inventive way on YouTube, I do absolutely fucking not want to wait two minutes for five seconds to render.

I do not want to pretend like I actually have something better to do than watch a cat roll/flop down a flight of stairs as it joyously decides that wooden floors are the best thing ever created.  Or, wait for that goddamn panda to fly off of the slide or squeek.

Worse yet, I don’t want to wait for a fucking image to load.

Or, a goddamn page of HTML text to suddenly, one bar at a time, to ratchet itself into existence.

I am not living in 1998.

I do not have dial-up.

I am paying for high-speed wireless internet.

So bulk the fuck up, bitch.  I am tired of this shit.

I want to watch my goddamn motherfucking cunt puppies be afraid/inquisitive of a cat.

I want to watch someone trip and fall.  I want to watch my movie previews.  I want to look at the full image that I clicked on in the blink of an eye.  I don’t want to rot and die as I wait for something to render.




One response

22 11 2010
Vina Oldridge

i like wireless internet because you can surf anywhere and you can avoid those ethernet cables “‘:

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