1000 Things We Hate #49: Perfecting the Shower Temp.

10 04 2010
There are two routes one can take in which perfecting the shower temp. can be a living hell in the morning:

1. You stand outside in your freezing bathroom half-naked with your hand in the water trying to judge how accurately the temperature will please you once you jump in.

2.  You get into the shower fully naked freezing and adjust the temperature without any precautions.

The benefits of both are easy to be seen.

For the first, you will at least not scald yourself half to death from the juxtaposition of 762º water with 50º bathroom.  Nevertheless, you are exposed in the bathroom and not in the shower area.  So, it takes longer to jump in and get warm.  The caution works in your favor, but the benefits take longer to receive.

The second, you will instantly feel the deep pleasures of the warm shower as soon as you get that temperature to your ideal heat.  However, you may also be exclaiming “shit! shit! shit! shit! Motherfucking shit! Cunt! Goddammit! Fuck!!!!” as you attempt to jump backwards from the water and not slip when it’s either crazy hot or crazy cold.

More like, "Ye be warned, crazy fuckin hot!"

So, what’s a solution for these problems?

Well, the obvious would be to simply turn on the water to where you think it will be pleasurable while bundled in 34 sheets and then make a mad dash to your bed for five more minutes of sleep before you jump into the shower which would make the transition from one warm area to another much easier.  The problem with this?  Well, you’re fucking wasting a shitload of water, and that’s bad.  The environment doesn’t give a fuck how pleased you are with your shower temperature.  So, don’t be such a conceded cunt.

Surprise! We use foul language.  Shame on us, but when you’re put in the situation of Showering before Swimming, Warm Shower-Cold Bathroom, or Shower Hair, you might understand.

Glub Glub glub glub glub! Are you drowning? Are you in the need of being rescued?  Well, look no further than our comprehensive Master List of 1000 Things We Hate to suck away your time!



4 responses

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #40: Shower before Swimming and Waiting « MechanisticMoth

[…]  For more on the awesome event that is showering (when it’s warm of course), check out Warm Shower, Cold Bathroom!  And, as well, perfecting the Shower Temp! […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #42: Warm Shower, Cold Bathroom « MechanisticMoth

[…] more on showering and the event that goes into it, check out: Showering before Swimming and Perfecting the Shower Temp and, hell, Shower […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #55: Shower Hair « MechanisticMoth

[…] be popular at 1000 Things We Hate, check out: Warm Shower-Cold Bathroom, Shower before Swimming, or Adjusting the Temp! Advertisement Eco World Content From Across The Internet. Featured on EcoPressed Fast […]

25 07 2012
Secret Pleasures #25: First Toilet Use « MechanisticMoth

[…] posts about hair clogs, toothpaste in the sink, ice in urinals, unflushed toilets, shower hair, perfecting the shower temperature, and warm shower/cold bathroom issues.  Wow, I guess we write about bathroom related stuff a lot […]

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