1000 Things We Hate #55: Shower Hair

16 05 2010

Let’s face it, loose hair is gross (pun anyone).  I have enough trouble dealing with my kitty’s hair, but nothing compares to human shedding.

When I find myself behind someone with hair all over their shirt I deliriously imagine myself pulling off all of the hair.  Occasionally, I do pull hair off total strangers-I haven’t been caught yet-but there are limits.  For example, as painful as it is to see a long hair dangling off a girl’s butt going for the grab is way too risky.  Therefore, because of social customs and instead of being a kind Samaritan I let them suffer the humiliation of hair on the butt.
Imagine the loose hair on this gal?

Ok, so loose hair sucks ass, but this post is not about normal loose hair.  This is about stupid people who don’t deal with their disgusting hair.  AKA: hair in the shower.

Lazy asses.

Words can not describe my hatred of sharing a shower with 15 other girls and having to deal with their laziness.   Yeah, hair falls out and I get that, but don’t leave it there so others have to deal with it.  When I go take a shower I don’t want to be gagging.  Plus, being naked makes me feel even more vulnerable to filth.  A shower’s supposed to be cleansing not make you feel worse.

What’s more painful is during my entire shower I play the ‘Who’s hair is this?’ game.  I can’t forget about the hair and run through a list of anyone who could be the culprit.  Even after getting out of the shower I’m checking out everyone’s hair color-is this the evil SOB?

Are you bald yet?

Everyone may be forgiven for one maybe two shower hair incidences of forgetfulness, but my kindness stops there.  In my youth I was once an idiot and forgot my hair, too, so I will pass on my knowledge to you for redemption.

Step 1. Swirl hair into ball on shower wall

Step 2. Use toilet paper to pick up hair

Step 3. Place toilet paper and hair in trash

Step 4. Celebrate your victory and be cured

Really, what excuse do you have now?  You’ve got the knowledge so use it and make all us normal hair fearing individuals gag less-we’ve got enough trouble out of the shower.

Showers sure seem to be popular at 1000 Things We Hate, check out: Warm Shower-Cold Bathroom, Shower before Swimming, or Adjusting the Temp!


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7 responses

17 05 2010
MechanisticMoth

This is genius.

31 05 2010
Miranda

Now I’m feeling quite paranoid. And justified at being mad at my roommate.

24 12 2010
1000 Things We Hate #128: Toothpaste in Sink « MechanisticMoth

[…] are two things that are absolutely disgusting when in a sink: hair and toothpaste.  Lose hair in general is disgusting but in a bathroom sink it’s a little unavoidable.  However, globs […]

27 12 2010
1000 Things We Hate #129: Hair Clogs « MechanisticMoth

[…] repulsiveness with hair has been well documented here.  It just really bothers me when it’s not attached to someone’s head.  Once it falls […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #42: Warm Shower, Cold Bathroom « MechanisticMoth

[…] For more on showering and the event that goes into it, check out: Showering before Swimming and Perfecting the Shower Temp and, hell, Shower Hair. […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #49: Perfecting the Shower Temp. « MechanisticMoth

[…] when you’re put in the situation of Showering before Swimming, Warm Shower-Cold Bathroom, or Shower Hair, you might […]

25 07 2012
Secret Pleasures #25: First Toilet Use « MechanisticMoth

[…] out these other posts about hair clogs, toothpaste in the sink, ice in urinals, unflushed toilets, shower hair, perfecting the shower temperature, and warm shower/cold bathroom issues.  Wow, I guess we write […]

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