1000 Things We Hate #58: Spit

5 06 2010

Bile.  Blood.  Urine.  Poop.  I can deal with all of these.  Frankly, I want to be a surgeon and will have to deal with these.  However, the one thing that I cannot stand is spit.

What crazy person thought this was art?

Saliva is disgusting.  The saying “hack a loogie” is disgusting.  The gangsta boys who spit on the side of the street are disgusting.  It’s all DISGUSTING.

Let’s run through every revolting step to spitting:

1. A pile of warm mucus gathers in your mouth

2. You prepare to remove it with a low “hack” in the back of your throat

3. You purse your lips and contract your muscles to send the saliva flying out of your mouth

4. It lands on the ground in a white, foaming blob

5. I walk by and mentally say “*uck you, you disgusting bastard”

Thank You Virginia! Finally something you got right.

I have friends who want to be dentists-they’re crazy.  Besides my hate of going to the dentist because of the irritating drills and scraping, they make me deal with my own saliva.  They wipe it on my bib and splash it on my face.  Then they make me slosh liquid in my mouth and spit it into a cup.  Of course they’re busy at the moment I spit into the cup and I end up having to hold my own warm spit until they’re ready.  Gross!

Another reason I can’t stand spitting is the sound.  I’ve got sensitive ears and the sloshy grind before spitting makes me cringe.  At college a certain someone always hacked a loogie in the shower every time I walked into the bathroom.  If you’re going to do it at least wait until I leave!

Signs like these bring joy to my life.

I’m so grossed out by spit and spitting that I hate Finding Nemo because the mountain in the fish tank is called ‘Wannahackaloogie’ (actually I hate it for a variety of reasons).  Also, the entire time I’ve been writing this post I’ve been trying to bring up my courage to actually look at pictures of real spit.  Ok…I’m going to do it…

Ha ha.  When I typed in ‘hack a lugi’ to google images all I got was pictures of Luigi from Mario.   The heavens are with me.

'Hack a lugi'

Ok…now I’ll spell it right as ‘hack a loogie’ and…

In the sink, really?

There just aren’t very many ‘good’ pictures of spitting or hacking loogies out there.  Yay me!



3 responses

11 08 2010
1000 Things We Hate #95: Fire Cop Out « MechanisticMoth

[…] a cake…boring.  Plus, the liquid he swallowed was spat all over the cake.  I want cake not spit. This looks stupid no matter the […]

24 12 2010
1000 Things We Hate #128: Toothpaste in Sink « MechanisticMoth

[…] imagine how many germs have collected in the time it’s been sitting there.  Or all the spit that has collected near or on […]

28 09 2011

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