1000 Things We Hate #59: Cleaning Vomit

24 06 2010

Yummy Fun!

So, I’m being nice and it’s a nice day and I feel like I should be a good pet owner and I take my cat outside and she eats grass… Normally, she’s pretty good at holding it down.  So, after I decide that it’s too hot and she confirms this by laying in the shade, we both go back inside.  Yes, I only take my cat outside when she’s on a leash and supervised.

I lay on my couch deciding that I still want to read some more of my book (The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay which I’m enjoying quite a lot).  After about doing this for forty five or so minutes, I make my way back up stairs.  Setting stuff down on top of my TV, taking the whats-its out of my pocket, I feel my foot slightly slide on the carpet.  I look down.

For the first time ever, my cat has thrown up.  Luckily this throw up is some congealed mass that is relatively easy to clean up.  Nevertheless, my gag reflex went wild.  That got me thinking, “isn’t all throw-up clean-ups purely sucky?”

The answer: yes.

Not so innocent

Pet puke can get pretty bad.  It seems to come in a multitude of colors, as well.  In fact, one may argue that pet puke rivals human vomit in its ability to hid every shade of the rainbow.

Did you know that there is actually a whole subset community driven behind looking at hot gurlz (college binge drinking) puke!?  Neither did I, now I know of it.  It’s a little disgusting by capitalizing this moment of vulnerability.  And, to be quite frank, it’s supposed to be funny, but is there any consideration past the humor about how long its going to take to get puke stains out of things?  No.

Fun Night?

I suppose a lot of this revolves around the binge-drinking.  The drinking to the point of vomit in some masochistic ritual of the human body.  Ultimately, it’s not funny when you realize that you need a new couch, clothes, or whatever.  So, if you do participate in this behavior, then be prepared.

OOHHH GOOAAHHHHDDD

Ultimately, whether it be pet, hot college girl, old person, child, or your own vomit, cleaning it up can be a real pain in the ass.

If someone ever vomits on anything that I own, and it is ruined, I fully expect to be reimbursed or for the culprit to clean after themselves.  Otherwise, I’ll cover you in cat food and hair ties and sick Sabretooth on you.


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24 09 2010
1000 Things We Hate #103: Boots with Socks (showing) « MechanisticMoth

[…] please, stop embarrassing yourself and making me want to vomit down your boots.  I mean, you’re so damn close to looking okay (unless you have style […]

23 11 2010
1000 Things We Hate #117: (Lack Of) Shopping Cart Etiquette « MechanisticMoth

[…] cart pusher who is constantly telling their child to cut it off.  The worst is when the child VOMITS on your shoes.  That fucking sucks.  The best way to get back at this type is to stare at the […]

27 12 2010
1000 Things We Hate #129: Hair Clogs « MechanisticMoth

[…] from your head.  And, it is all wrapped together in a brownish-gray mass (I really am about to throw up). That's one hell of a clean […]

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