1000 Things We Hate #60: RVs

29 06 2010

Suck my dick.

Fuck RVs. Are you just that fucking lazy that you have to bring your HOME with you? Jesus Christ. Whatever happened to the ol’ fashioned way of camping? I mean, wasn’t that the whole goddamn point – to get back to nature or whatever bullshit like that? I mean, maybe I’m being a bit naïve here or something, but you really aren’t getting back to nature if you have all the comforts of you consumerist home, right? You don’t need a flushing fucking toilet if you’re in the goddamn woods.

Rolling mechanical doomsday machines. That’s what they are. I mean, they’re letting out more carbon monoxide than Dick Cheney’s ass. And I didn’t think that anything could be that fucking poisonous. That and it’s actually a using up good land to stick in gravel pits for those fucking mammoths. Good land that should be used for hiking, fishing, biking, and, oh yeah, fucking tents. This is just ri-goddamn-diculous.

YOU DON'T NEED THIS!!!

The point of camping is to go into the wilderness and forget the conveniences that you’ve left behind; breath in some fresh air, leave behind the car, fucking walk around for a bit, make fires. You don’t need an electric stove, a shower, beds; come on here people! It’s not that hard to pitch a tent dickhole.

Ahhh... yes...

I mean, maybe some of us want to take a nice mini break to get out into the woods and out of the city for a bit, watch bugs and climb trees, watch someone skip rocks across the river and when you try you use the wrong rocks and it never works and all you hear is *thunk as it plummets into the water and you’re disappointed, on the verge of getting pissed, but not enough to make you stop trying. SOME OF US LIKE THAT!

She is clearly hating this guy right now. It might appear that she's laughing, but in her brain she is calculating his death.

However, we can’t ever find a fucking place to camp anymore because all of the little sites are all taken up by gross communities of RVs. Because, apparently, the woods have become too dangerous without your fucking metal safety domes to save you from trees. You know what, if a tree falls on you, that sucks, deal with it. That’s all I have to say.

So, fuck you RVs and all of your RV parks. I’m out.


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