1000 Things We Hate #67: Breathing in Liquids

15 07 2010

Alright, this one’s going to need some bit of clarification on what I mean.  So, you know when you’re innocently drinking water or some other drink, and you just so happened to mistime your breathing with your drinking.  Then, you cough ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE.  This is essentially the case of “it went down the wrong pipe” or however/whatever the saying goes.  You know, I should check it out in my Dictionary of Clichés, but I’m at work… so, I don’t have it… damn.

Which enemy is worse?

So, how is this even made worse?  It’s when you accidentally swallow a giant ice cube because of a mistep in breathing.  This is what happened just about 30 minutes ago to spawn this post (my hate SIMMERED for 30 minutes, that’s right).  When this happens, the ice goes down your throat, past your chest, and into your stomach.  The entire way you can feel the coolness melting along the way, and it sort of makes you want to vomit, as well.

This is NOT dirty

Obviously, the coughing attack is a way that evolution has saved us yet again.  That little flap in your throat switches back and forth between breathing and swallowing which is a godsend.  I mean, what would happen if there wasn’t that mechanism?  That’s right WE WOULD DROWN ON A TABLESPOON OF WATER.  That would be a bad way to die because it’s extremely dumb.

He's not trying hard enough

So, I hate going into that goddamn coughing fit where you’re awkwardly trying to keep it quiet because you’re at some conference and don’t want to draw attention to THAT GUY WHO WON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP.  Nevertheless, that coughing fit is to remind us that our bodies are saving our lives, the bastards.


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