1000 Things We Hate #82: Dog Poop

17 07 2010

His jowls say one thing: guilty

Alright, this should be an easy one that everyone agrees with.  Nevertheless, it has to be said.

I hate dog poop.  Now, there are many tiers to that statement:

I hate dog poop in general.

I hate dog poop’s smell.

I hate dog poop’s looks.

I hate dog poop on my shoe.

I hate having to constantly fear getting it on me when in a field.

I hate having to choose an alternate route to avoid it.

I hate owners who don’t pick it up.

I hate picking it up.

I hate all of it’s different textures.

I hate that look on dog’s faces when they poop of guilty concentration.

I hate that other look on dog’s faces afterward that says, “suck it, motherfuckas.”

I hate the inconvenient times dogs choose to poop.

I hate when dogs eat other dogs poop.

I hate seeing the various things the dogs have been fed at the table for the second time in their poop.

I hate yards littered with dog poop.

I hate yards with a single poop.

I hate babysitting dogs who poop.

I hate that most of them don’t have a designated area to poop other than the general outside world.

I hate dog parks because they have a lot of poop.

I hate when dog poop gets shot into my mouth.

I hate the flies on dog poop.

Etc.

Doggy Hernia, Please

You know, my dad once shot a neighbor’s dog with a BB Gun because it was pooping in our yard (on like one pump so it didn’t hurt it, okay).  I think I approve of this measure.


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8 12 2011
1000 Things We Hate #206: Manure Covered Dogs « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] you (dis)like poop check out more hateful posts about bird poop, dog poop, and human poop.  Or maybe you (dis)like dogs; check out dog barking.  If all else fails consult […]

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