1000 Things We Hate #90: Aristotle

4 08 2010

Why Aristotle deserves to be hated:

1) He wrote  in circles.

The world is made of four elements: fire, air, water, earth.  Earth, water, air, fire are the four elements that make up the natural world.  Earth is the heaviest of the four elements that make up the natural world.  Fire is the lightest.  Blah, blah, blah.  Seriously I already got the message the first time, but no lets talk for 10 pages about that one statement.

Look at that cocky face that laughs at the misery he inflicts upon 21st century students

2) He’s tedious.

And under the category of ‘relation’ may be relations between the ‘more’ and ‘less,’ or between that which is active and that which is acted on, and generally between that which ‘moves’ (or changes) something as the agent and that which is moved (or changed) by it as the patient.  For which has the power of producing a change can only act in reference to a thing capable of being changed; and that which is capable of being changed can only suffer change under the action of that which has power to change it.

-Aristotle, Physics, III. I.

That’s two sentences for one sub-chapter of his book Physics.  And how long does it take you to understand what it says?  At least two careful reads and some serious brainpower.

3) He was wrong.

Aristotle was one of the first people to actually observe nature and based his theories on his observations so I give him a few props but he was still wrong.  Why should I sit in a classroom and divulge into the details of his thinking if it does nothing for the future.  As a society we should work towards progress.  And yes, let’s learn from our mistakes in the past – Hurray I now know that the earth isn’t the center of the universe and there’s no such thing as ether!  I feel so accomplished.

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

4) Medicine didn’t progress because of his ideas.

Aristotle cut up animals.  Wahoo.  But, he never cut up a human so he just assumed the internal structure was similar.  This and other stuff set medicine back ages.  No one was willing to challenge him.

5) Everyone believed him

Believing Aristotle isn’t really a big deal until it gets in the way of progress.  Aristotelian beliefs were around for centuries and no one even bothered to double check the accuracy.  I can’t exactly blame Aristotle (he was a smart man) for all the dumb asses that followed him, but he is the initiating point.

Even your marbled chest doesn't save you from hate

6) He ruined my GPA and wasted my time

This also might not be Aristotle’s direct fault, but it is his fault for being so boring and long winded that I didn’t have a clue what to write for my college essay.  After, in my opinion, bombing the first essay I totally revamped the original.  After that one was graded average (I am so not average) I redid it for a third time.  The final version was acceptable, but the main issue is that instead of writing one essay and forgetting everything I ever learned about him, I had to dive back into ‘Aristotle’s annoying world’ for four months. Grrr, I hate Aristotle.

Aristotle’s theories formed the bases for many good ideas so we shouldn’t completely wipe him from existence.  I’m sure a lot of people even like him, but I don’t.  I don’t want to learn incorrect material some old guy thought of in 300 BC.  He was wrong and I like to learn what’s right (or at least thought of to be right at the current moment).



One response

8 09 2011

you realise how stupid you are ?
of course not… how could you? you’re stupid.

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