1000 Things We Hate #102: Distressed Jeans

18 09 2010

The Workingman look for the upper-elite

I’m going to begin this by mentioning something: I, at this very moment, am wearing jeans with a giant hole at the knee.  I, however, earned this tear by laying out too often during ultimate frisbee.  Nevertheless, I recognize the tragedy that is my pants.  So, I do not go out in public with these babies on.  No, thank you.

We, here at MechanisticMoth, have a really big problem with those things that you wear on your bottom half.  From Leggings to Jeggings to Underwear Lines to Pajama Pants to Pants (more than likely jeans) with no back pockets.  We are verrrry picky on what you grace your bottoms with.

Removing that crisp look of fresh jeans to the distressed look of crackwhore

My primary issue with distressed jeans is that they really don’t make much sense.  You buy a pair of intact jeans that will eventually wear  out with love and care… I would hope that you don’t buy something purely because they’ve been beaten to shit.  Unfortunately people do, and, for some reason, they buy the freaking expensive versions.  In my opinion, the upper class purchases distressed jeans to symbolize that they have worked at something despite never actually doing any work or earning those bits of love within the tears.  This is enhanced by fucking paint being added onto jeans in the most strategic of places.

Distressed jeans also remind me of children playing... hence Cameron Diaz being right at home at the Kids' Choice Awards

On another note, even if you are poor and can only manage to have a couple pairs of jeans that just so happen to have rips in them because you’ve had them for 3 years… I can understand your plight.  BUT, that does not justify the terrible look of torn jeans.  You just look careless in them.

Plus, haven’t you noticed (like in the picture above) that the rips/tears/distresses appear in the most unnatural places?  I mean, it’s natural for some to appear around the knees or maybe around the back pockets because that is where the jeans receive the most wear.  But, many tears on these distressed jeans just so happen to appear on the upper thigh.  I mean, are you just trying to make it easier to finger fuck you?  Oh wait… sorry, I forgot, the jeans are also skin tight rendering that impossible.

I can't resist plastering Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron on the blog...

Those vertical tears seem to be the most mysterious of all.  I know that natural tears are usually wide not high…

Nevertheless, distressed jeans show an eroding of taste and another way for the upper elite (and people desperately making a go at the social status) to be pretentious.



4 responses

27 09 2010

You know, as a member of the blue collar working class, i can relate to this on an intimate level. I have several pairs of jeans that have wear on the appropriate areas due to physical use; the knees, the back pockets, the seams on the leg cuffs, etc. To me these jeans are a piece of my identity as a whole, that declare who I am and what I do. But pre-distressed jeans just don’t make any sense to me. It boils down to this: I put in hours of physical toil every day, and my work-wear receives abuse because of it. By buying and wearing pre distressed jeans, you are actively pointing out that you have more disposable income than I do, AND you don’t have to put in any of the effort.
Which is a big fuck you, in my opinion.

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #10: Jeans with No Back Pockets « MechanisticMoth

[…] For more involving the pants you wear, check out: Leggings, Jeggings, and pants with holes in them! […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #23: Leggings as Pants « MechanisticMoth

[…] See our other 1000 Things We Hate on Jeggings, the new atrocity trying to legitimize Leggings as Pants.  Also, there’s a problem out there with distressed jeans, check it. […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #36: Jeggings « MechanisticMoth

[…] 1000 Things We Hate #102: Distressed Jeans « MechanisticMoth (16:08:59) : […]

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