1000 Things We Hate #106: Shari’s

27 09 2010

Fuck you Sharis. Seriously. Fuck you. You don’t even spell your name correctly.


This is all stemming from this evening’s visit to the local Redmond Shari’s (I’m going to spell it correctly from here out). This evening was made even worse by the disgustingly huge Confederate flag some asshole was flying behind his pickup truck (seriously, we’re in the NORTH WEST! Go to Texas if you really want to fly that stupid flag).

I am currently cleaning up my old house in Redmond in preparation for my move to Portland. I am not excited to be here. Things are even harder since I turned off my cable/internet connection because Bend Broadband is a bunch of jackasses (as is my late roommate). So I decided I would go down to Shari’s and use their free Wi-Fi connection and have myself some dinner. I don’t know why I torture myself so! I know that every time I go in there I’m going to get a pathetic excuse for service and food; alas, I go anyway. I really wanted to get online. I order my coffee and water and ask the young host for some honey for the coffee. She never brings it. When I make my food order I realize there isn’t a single menu item that actually sounds appealing save the caesar salad. Luckily the internet connection isn’t half bad.

The classiest

But the speedy surfing is no cover for how terrible my $9 salad was. A sad display of wilting lettuce topped with chicken that has obviously been through the microwave because it looks like it was cut up over a week ago and showed no signs of being grilled. Then the toasted pita bread, that is usually something to look forward to, is also a disgusting display. I’m now wondering whether or not I should’ve eaten it while thinking about the French toast scene in Road Trip. There was barely even enough dressing on the salad to call it anything more than a bed of lettuce and croutons.

Terrible food aside, the customer service is always shit. It has been ever since Robin left. Things were simpler when she worked there. Today you get tweakers who work both the night and morning shifts with their coffee stained fake smiles. I never had my water filled once. Nor was my coffee ever refreshed. I felt like a dick driving home because I didn’t leave a tip, but reminiscing about it, I’m really glad I didn’t waste my money. I’m even more pleased with not leaving a tip since my fucking shit coffee cost me over 2 fucking dollars! What the hell is that; 2 bucks for coffee? When did coffee stop being 99 cents?

The average old-timer patrons muddying up the place

And if you thought things couldn’t get worse, well in Redmond, they always can. Something about this town makes it impossible to go ANYWHERE without seeing at least one person you know, and in turn don’t want to see. Like Mo put it in her hate for the fair: seeing people in this town just sucks. Awkward conversations and strange eye contact as you try and avoid people. The people here are infectious to me. It’s almost like my IQ drops instantly from a sort of chemical radiation of stupidity coming off of them. Luck has been favoring me though, thank whoever! And I haven’t seen a single person I don’t want to see. Well that’s not completely true but whatever. Usually a trip to Shari’s means a plethora of pre-pubescent, overly horny, theater kids screaming across tables and drinking vast quantities of Mt. Dew (I can call the theater kids this because I experienced their pre-mature sex drives first hand for 4 years). I can recall the last time I made the mistake of going there after a theater performance and the terrible fate of being placed one table away from them. It almost goes without saying that that was a trip to hell and back.

I think I can say without-a-doubt that I will never be returning to a Shari’s ever again. If my need to use the internet ever becomes that strong again, I’m forcing myself to drive around parking lots until I find a strong enough signal. Or I’m just going to speed up my packing process and leave this town.

1000 Things We Hate #105: Pronouns & Country is a submission from the Guest Post Contest written by Chelsea Riley.
The views expressed by the writers of the Guest Post Contest may or may not reflect the opinions of the managers of MechanisticMoth.



One response

18 08 2011
1000 Things We Hate #179: Employee Smoke Breaks « MechanisticMoth

[…] suppose that smoking outside is better than smoking inside (does Shari’s still allow a smoking section?), but it does not put up a good front for customers.  At least […]

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