1000 Things We Hate #112: Cigarette Butt Litter

12 11 2010

This is quite similar to the last 1000 Things We Hate because, well, it’s us complaining about dumbass smokers.

Okay, so, you’re already killing your body at a faster rate than normal.  You ingest cancer on a multiple-times-a-day basis.  Awesome.  Thanks a lot.  Frankly, if you’re killing yourself with cigarettes to lower the population, that’s great.  EXCEPT MY FUCKING TAX DOLLARS SUPPORT YOUR HABIT.  I would like cigarettes to be taxed through the roof in retribution.

A Sea of Cigarettes ruining our forests

Nevertheless, what really grinds my socks is people who, upon finishing their cigarette, simply throw it on the ground, do a nice twist of the toe, and put it out… WITHOUT EVER FUCKING THROWING IT AWAY.

So, you litter.  That’s wonderful.  But, it’s other people who have to clean up your mess that you could have easily resolved by being a respectable citizen and, on your own, throwing your cigarette away in a nice [OH MY GOD MAGIKARP] easy fashion that helps out the community.

Trust me, Iron Eyes Cody (the secret Italian posing as an American Indian) would not condone your behavior!

HE CRIED, PEOPLE! CRIED.  Which could have easily just have been from your bad habit tickling his eye ducts with disease.

The lone man out waiting to be disposed of

So, we’re at a critical juncture.  What do we do [OH MY GOD MAGIKARP AGAIN NOW PRINTING A PAPER] with this problem?  Obviously, what we have been doing isn’t working.  And, as awesome as it would be, there’s not about to be any cigarette butt police force [I FEEL THE GROUND SHAKE WHEN MAGIKARP NEARS] running around catching a new perp.  I suppose this all just boils down to accountability.  If you’re killing your body, the least you can do is be respectful to those around you.  Dispose of your waist in ashtrays or step on the butt to stop it from being lit, and then promptly pick it up and throw it in the trash (we do not want any trash bins catching on fire, now).

Otherwise, we are left with Chipmunks trying to eat cigarette butts, and that is just not cool.

It's okay little guy, there's a treatment for that


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4 responses

10 12 2010
Jeanie

Your tone is pretty much how a lot of people feel about this kind of littering. Have you seen this? $ for butts: http://www.ripplelife.org/butts

8 02 2011
1000 Things We Hate #137: Yellow Fingernails « MechanisticMoth

[…] lung disease, diabetes, kidney disease, nutritional deficiencies (most notably iron and zinc), bad smoking habit(s), and/or nail […]

18 08 2011
1000 Things We Hate #179: Employee Smoke Breaks « MechanisticMoth

[…] I’ve already covered smoking, in a sense, before with Cigarette Butt Litter and Yellow Fingernails, but I feel like I need to tackle smoking head-on.  Of course, if I just do […]

8 03 2012
1000 Things We Hate #231: Gum on Sidewalks « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] is kind of like cigarette litter where the people just have no respect for their environment.  HOW FUCKING DIFFICULT is it to save […]

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