1000 Things We Hate #113: Facebook Ads

12 11 2010

Facebook is no stranger to MechanisticMoth.  Hell, we’ve covered it in Conversations and Emoticons (that can be used in Face Chat).

Masterminds

Here’s something you can all agree on:

FACEBOOK FUCKING ADS ARE MOSESTITS PUSWADS FUCKSHITS.

Now, I don’t exactly know what that meant, but I think you get the idea.

Let’s get it out of the way first: I have used facebook ads before.  This isn’t the “Hot Christian Singles in Your Area” that always freaks me out (I am a full-blown atheist), but usually the concerts.  I’ll be like “Oh, The Flaming Lips are playing in Seattle? Thanks for the heads up facebook.”  However, I never actually click on these ads.  I just go and do some investigating on my own.  I feel like it’s more of a discovery that way.

Single gay guys for women!? My favorite!

I suppose the worst part of Facebook Ads is how fucking creepy they can be.  I fully understand that they use your facebook page and stuff that you have “liked” (how else would they be able to track you?) in order to create a moveset of ways to pester the shit out of you like a penguin on crack.  THIS IS GENIUS.  I am not denying it.  It probably racks in the chedda’h for all of the Facebook guys.

I suppose that part of my upsetness stems from the idea and execution being so genius.  I wish I had thought of something so unique and bullshitty.  However, that does not stop me from hating the whole general idea behind them.

WHY HAVE I NOT GOTTEN THIS AD!?

Sometimes, you get a really out-of-the-blue ad.  These are crazy.  Like, for example, at this very second there is an ad for Nyquil in which I can win Super Bowl tickets through.  THAT’S AWESOME… but really fucking creepy.  Like, so creepy I want to headbutt and then hyper beam (thanks, Taylor) Facebook’s ass.  Also, I got an ad for Safeway.  Which, by the way, I go to, but I don’t actually have a facebook card/account.  All we do is just use our old phone number from 10 years ago before we moved.

TOYS!? Facebook knows what we all want...

Now, you can even exit out of an ad and facebook asks you “why didn’t you like this ad – x Uninteresting x Misleading x Offensive x Repetitive x Other”.  Therefore, you can customize the ads you see!  Great, now I know how I can be tempted by the devil that is Facebook.  I’M ALREADY PLAYING MAFIA WARS OBSESSIVELY, DAMMIT!

So, I know these ads are never going away, but can they at least simmer down?  (AND PLEASE, NO MORE CHRISTIANMINGLE.COM-ING ME)


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27 02 2011
1000 Things We Hate #144: Profile Pic ADD « MechanisticMoth

[…] more 1000 Things We Hate featuring Facebook, check out face-chatting here and emoticons here and facebook ads here and youropenbook […]

18 03 2011
1000 Things We Hate #147: Facebook Birthdays « MechanisticMoth

[…] have talked about facebook a lot here here here and here.  Most of them have been hates, but no matter what facebook gets a lot of time […]

19 03 2011
Secret Pleasures #15: Youropenbook « MechanisticMoth

[…] out other facebook related posts here: Profile Pic ADD, Facebook Ads, and Facebook […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #51: Facebook Conversations in Class « MechanisticMoth

[…] Facebook!?  Is it a unnecessary necessity!?  Well, check out more about facebook and emoticons, Ads, Profile Pic ADD, Birthdays, or Alternate […]

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