1000 Things We Hate #125: Whale Tail

19 12 2010

Oh wow… wow… it has really come to this.  That’s right: the Whale Tail.

YIPEE! Let's ride those thar waves!

There’s a beast plaguing the streets, it happens to show itself whenever some women bend over: the whale tail.  Or, to put more of a description towards it: when a thong rides up past the bottoms (pants, skirt, etc.) of a woman (or, in a rare case, a man) proudly screaming “this underwear should be sexy, but it truly is not when shown in this manner.”  Personally, I’m not a big fan of thongs in general.  I think underwear can be sexy when it covers up rather than showcase.  Granted, I can understand the practicality of a thong when someone wants to wear a clingy dress or something to prevent underwear lines.

I suppose part of the problem is that an exposed thong just draws so much attention to itself.  Typically, their colors are distinctly different from the other garments being worn, and, really, it visually breaks up the parts of the skin on the lower back.  So, it’s going to announce itself loudly.

There also seems to be two different types of Whale Tails:

The Intentional:

Nice fake tan ladies, nice one...

The Intentional whale tail user purposefully flaunts their whale tail as if its a visual commodity.  They think it’s fun and sexy to draw attention to what lies beneath.  This, however, is not sexy – more jarring than anything.  I typically associate the word “drunk” with these people.  It’s no excuse, but I sort of believe that only drunk/partying people can have the idea of a whale tail being sexy run through their heads.

The Unintentional:

I feel sorry for you… seriously!

Now, I really just feel sorry for these people.  Here they go, enjoying a nice sunny day, sit down, relax, and all of a sudden their underwear comes spilling out without their knowledge!  Then, people come by and ogle at the show while the person merely sits and goes about their business.  They mean no harm, and their thongs are meant to be merely underwear rather than a stage show.

Funny enough, there’s a porn site that comes up first thing on a google search of whale tail.  Real classy.

Overall, let’s keep whale tails where they belong… on whales.

This one knows what I'm talking about!

And yes, naturally, comics are never safe from this phenomenon even if it’s just implied:

Oh Ms. Marvel, You have no idea what's in store for you...

Funny enough, Whale Tails and Tramp Stamps seem to go hand in hand together!

Yippy! A Fair!


AHOY! We be huntin’ the great moby dick!  Ye spot other swarmy posts at the MASTER LIST.



3 responses

19 12 2010
1000 Things We Hate #126: The Tramp Stamp « MechanisticMoth

[…] strangely, as mentioned in an earlier post, Tramp Stamps and Whale Tails seem to go terribly well with one […]

10 02 2011
1000 Things We Hate #141: Cell Phones in Class « MechanisticMoth

[…] can be found here.  Here’s the accompanying image which I had to include for the sake of the whale tail: […]

11 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #222: Man Ass « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] man ass, what about female ass?  Check out previous posts: Jeans with No Back Pockets, Pantylines, Whaletail, and Tramp […]

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