1000 Things We Hate #130: Christmas Lights Leftovers

27 12 2010
Is this really necessary?

Now, I don’t really celebrate holidays except for maybe Halloween.  So, I typically go around scoffing at other people’s insistence on decking out their houses/lawns/whatevs in lights or other decorations.  I tastefully disagree with the practice but I understand; some people like decorating for a myth and a fake holiday.  Sure, I could easily go on and state about how much I dislike/hate Christmas.  That, hell, Christ wasn’t even born on Christmas and it’s all just a fabrication.  Or that Christmas Cheer and Spirit is only brought up as a way to force people to be somehow magically nicer during a specific time frame of the year.  I go under the belief that people shouldn’t be required by society to be nice just during a certain time, but that people should be expected to be good, giving, and caring citizens all year round.

ANYWAY, I can save many of those topics for future 1000 Things We Hate.  What I’m really here to bitch about is Christmas Lights that are left up for a ridiculous amount of time.  Here’s the time frame for taking down Christmas lights:

  • Never putting up any Christmas lights in the first place – genius
  • December 24 – you probably got into some argument and angrily took them down, good job
  • December 25 – you’re my type of person… to a lesser degree
  • December 26 – the perfect day to take them down because you’ve stopped celebrating the holiday
  • December 27 – Reasonable, I won’t argue too much if they’re still up
  • December 28 – We’re starting to have a problem here, but I’ll forgive you
  • December 29 – We have a problem
  • December 30 – Are you fucking lazy as shit?  Seriously.
  • December 31 – WHAT THE FUCK!?  It’s been nearly a week, what the fuck is wrong with you?
  • January 30 – You’re dead to me
  • Year Round – You’re a blight on the human race
This really isn’t too bad…

I understand that some Christmas light decorations must be harder to take apart… which means they were difficult to put together… which means you are a fucking loser for spending so much time on them.  Plus, with those people who do elaborate designs, they are killing the environment one volt of electricity at a time.

If you’re going to put up any lights at all, keep the simple to save the earth and take them down in a reasonable amount of time.


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