1000 Things We Hate #137: Yellow Fingernails

8 02 2011


Wouldn’t it be cool if “yucky” was a palindrome?  “Yukkuy” or something…

Anyway, here’s something that really fucking bothers me.  To be quite frank, it grosses me the fuck out.

Yellow nails are a sign of: liver disease, lung disease, diabetes, kidney disease, nutritional deficiencies (most notably iron and zinc), bad smoking habit(s), and/or nail fungus.

I don’t know about you, but I try not to associate myself with those that kidney disease.  I mean, seriously, those people are just weird!

Okay, seriously, yellow nails are gross.  I understand that, in some (most) cases, people can’t help it.  That however doesn’t mean I have to enjoy the sight of them.  If I did discriminate for any reason it would be for the color of people’s fingernails.

Your nails may look like this some day!

There is one notable exception, however.  This is mostly a case of “yellow by circumstance” that circumstance being one that has happened within the last half an hour; what is it, you ask!  People who peel oranges and/or carrots.  Have you ever scraped one of those things and gotten orange-ish yellow all over your nails and felt really embarrassed by it?  Well, I have.  I threw a fucking fit (I do not like being judged (I actually revel in it) at all).

One may think, “hey wait! There’s another exception!”  If you are that person, then you are wrong.  Cheetos is not an exception.  If anything, it just makes me realize that you secretly enjoy poisoning your body (which is me being a hypocrite because I have an immense love for candy).

In the end, just be aware that if you have yellow fingernails, then you are a dumbass.  Case closed (muthafucka).



2 responses

4 03 2011
Yellow Toenails ,Tim

I really dig the pix you have on your site and the weird take you have on a bunch of subjects…whaddya mean yellow nails gross you out? The nails in the pix are such a lovely shade of yellow I think I’ll paint my living room that color.

18 08 2011
1000 Things We Hate #179: Employee Smoke Breaks « MechanisticMoth

[…] I’ve already covered smoking, in a sense, before with Cigarette Butt Litter and Yellow Fingernails, but I feel like I need to tackle smoking head-on.  Of course, if I just do a 1000 Things We Hate […]

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