1000 Things We Hate #139: Superglue Hands

8 02 2011

Little girls know best.

I feel like everyone has to experience superglue at some point.  It’s just one of those constant things about life.  Plus, it makes you feel like a lizard… which can either be good or bad (if good, begin growing scales and beady eyes).

My first experience with superglue was most likely from an early age.  I’m thinking second grade here.  I can at least recall working on a Velociraptor paper maché beast thing (unfortunately, this was before the time they discovered that raptors had wings… which would have made my job much more difficult).  First I got messy making all that paper maché into the form of a raptor, but then came the gluing on of the clay eyes!  Oh my lordy! was that an experience.  First off, the damn eyes wouldn’t stay on.  Imagine my tiny little self (quite a sprite) frustratingly trying to stick these eyes on (the beginnings of 1000 Things We Hate) while getting my hands covered in superglue.

When they say SUPERglue, they definitely mean the super.  That shit fucking sucks to get off.  Now, naturally, when your hands covered in it, you want your hands to stick together BUT THIS IS A BAD FUCKING IDEA.  Imagine how many emergency room visits are made just because of superglue!  The terror! The horror!

oh no!

In my last encounter with superglue (which slightly ruined a fairly decent pair of pants), I ended up with that shit on my hands for a good three days after the initial use.  The superglue just bonds with your fingers so damn well that you’ll find yourself picking at it for a large chunk of your day.  Sure, when you get it all off it’s a small victory, but you have to remind yourself that you were a dumbass for getting yourself in that situation even in the first place.  Plus, you leave around little reminders of your dumbassery with the little white fraying lying everywhere around you.

The googly eyed revolt!

So, I advocate to use gloves while supergluing shit all around.  My suggestion: get some googly eyes and leave pairs all around in fun places.  It will be exciting and rewarding and awesome, trust me.


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2 responses

28 09 2011
CRN

Something that works really well for getting rid of superglue is acetone. I’ve used it several times and it is very effective. Old style nail polish had acetone in it (Just watered down), hence why the old trick is to use nail polish remover in abscence of pure acetone.

28 09 2011
MechanisticMoth

I totally tried that, but it did not work… at all.

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