1000 Things We Hate #145: Mrs. Butterworth

28 02 2011

Nothing could be so creepy

Let me get this straight for y’all: I do not fully hate the (fakely) maple syrup inside Mrs. Butterworth, I, instead, hate the character of Mrs. Butterworth.  Nevertheless, it is fucking SCARY that an animated bottle filled with a liquid of a mysteriously brown substance hobbles around ready to release that said substance onto a stack of (preferably Aunt Jemima) pancakes.

Here are some of the reasons why Mrs. Butterworth is worth your hating attention:

First off, she is based off of a matronly woman who’s nice and plump and hearkens back to those good ol’ times when Christianity ruled and women were meant to be in the kitchen.

Secondly, she is an animated bottle of syrup!  SYRUP, PEOPLE! SYRUP!  It’s this weird combination of goodness (that’s not all that great) surrounded by plastic that apparently, in the fictional world of commercials, moves!  Is this really necessary?  It’s scary to imagine this squirming lady being held upside down as her brain goop exits her body.

Thirdly, come on, Geico!?  Did you really have to go out and endorse a car insurance company?  Cross company advertising is ridiculous as it is, but matching up two very different things is either a stroke of genius (it wasn’t) or mental retardation (it was).

Here to sell you shit - as in her body and car insurance

Fourthly, when you use Mrs. Butterworth, you are basically feeling her up.  “Oh, I just need to squeeze her to get some of your creamy liquid out!  Are you lactating syrup!? OH GOD YES!”  This also goes contradiction to her matronly figure.  Apparently, Mrs. Butterworth is a slut and doesn’t know it.

Fifthly, her first name is Joy.  Seriously, what the fuck?  AS IF YOU COULDN’T EMPHASIZE HER HAPPY-GO-LUCKY NATURE ENOUGH.  You had to name her joy, you fucking idiots!  How so very blatant of you.

Here you go Chil'in

When they say that a woman’s role is in the kitchen, they are referring to Mrs. Butterworth.



One response

24 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #193: Ketchup Water « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] For more on condiments check out Mrs. Butterworth! […]

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