1000 Things We Hate #169: Put on My Eyes

28 06 2011

I love you, too.

I happen to be blessed with the gift of sight.  It seems like more and more people nowadays have to wear glasses.  I don’t, so you suck if you do.  There are some people who can see but choose to be cool and wear some scene, fake glasses.  Luckily, I’m not incredibly foolish like those people.

Nevertheless, it happens.  I agree, it must suck to be forced to wear glasses.  Some people, like the man above, are very angry about wearing glasses.  Other people just look really hot in glasses like below:

I'll wear glasses for you if we can fall in love...

I feel like wearing glasses has become an acceptable part of our culture.  However, there’s a problem to it all: I hate how people must always drag attention to their glasses.

In this case, I hate the phrase “put on my eyes” because it obviously brings out that you must wear glasses because you are blind.

I suppose I just hate the whole phrase.  How can you put on your eyes when you already have eyes.  Do you just keep an extra pair of eyes in your back pocket!?  Oh, here we go, time to put these eyes on…  Or maybe you just have sockets and need to put in  your glass eyes.  I suppose that would defeat the purpose if you had two glass eyes.

Pop them out! Umm, yeah, pop it.

Putting on googly eyes is the habit of party goers.  You get a single laugh.  OH WOW, YOU HAVE SPRINGS ON YOUR FAKE EYES.  This fanciful party joke happens to be mildly acceptable for only one time only in your entire life.

But putting on your eyes as in your glasses?  Are you just extremely confused?  Have you lost it.  ARE YOU KATY PERRY!?

Because only something as stupid as a Katy Perry song trumps putting on your eyes

Overall, saying that your putting on your eyes points out your inherent, blind weakness.  We live in a dog-eat-dog society.  If it comes down to you and me, then I will crush your fucking eyes.


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