1000 Things We Hate #189: Wet Socks

5 10 2011

My feet have the unnatural ability to be extremely cold.  Most of the time I don’t notice it.  I think the exterior of my body works at a much colder level than others.  I’d like to suggest that the outer layers of my epidermis are cold-blooded (this is ridiculous, I know) like a reptile (I have such high aspirations to be a scientist).  So, when it’s cold outside, I get frigid.  If it’s warm outside, I get extremely hot.  This may seem pretty basic, but, when you experience it, IT IS INSANE.

You have no idea how much this image made me chuckle aloud in the library when I found it...

There’s nothing like a swift kick to the genitals to make you realize how much you enjoy having them (maybe internally as opposed to externally… sorry guys).  So, when you have cold, damp, gross, muddy, sexy socks, you realize how much you love warm, cozy, fuzzy, (also) sexy socks.  BECAUSE SOCKS ARE SEXY (why else would people in movies insist on keeping them on while having sex (check out Business Time by Flight of the Conchords for a perfect example))! …Anyway, you get the idea.  These are polar opposites.  Wet Socks suck ass.

Even Mormons have this problem!

What is the worst incident with wet socks, you ask?  Answer: When you just put on a fresh pair of socks and your feet are just adjusting to their warmth and comfort and then, in the bathroom, you step in a minor puddle getting one of your socks wet leaving you with the decision of whether or not you should change both socks, just one, or deal with it.  WHEN IT IS 7 IN THE MORNING, I CANNOT MAKE THESE DECISIONS.

The major drag of wet socks is, once they are wet, they stay wet for a really long time.  I suppose that is because they’re tucked away into that damp little recess called a shoe where they do not see the light of day until the freedom of escaping their swallowing cave (god, I’d hate to be someone’s foot #reminder).  I suppose when a sock gets wet you just have to deal with it.  I hate dealing with things… I mean, when I see someone at the supermarket, I avoid them to avoid small talk at all costs.  So, avoiding a necessary component of my daily dress is something way too overwhelming.

What can you do to prevent wet socks aside from wearing flip flops (although some people insist on wearing socks with those, too)?  I suggest we stage a revolt.  DOWN WITH THE SOCKS!  Let’s instead wrap animal pelts around our feet.  Take that, PETA.

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For related posts on socks, we recommend Socks with Holes, Socks and Sandals, Socks with Boots, Mismatched Socks, and Missing Socks.

Take a look at the rest of our 1000 Things We Hate, we implore!


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8 responses

9 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #190: Holes in Socks « MechanisticMoth

[…] have been on our minds.  Check out our post about wet socks here. Advertisement Eco World Content From Across The Internet. Featured on EcoPressed Clothing […]

11 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #191: Socks with Sandals « MechanisticMoth

[…] I know it.  I’ve been on a kick about socks this week.  First came the wet socks and then the holes in socks and now just plain old SOCKS WITH SANDALS.  I actually had another […]

12 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #8: Pictures Looking Down at Shoes/Feet « MechanisticMoth

[…] more on feet and socks check out socks with boots, socks getting wet, socks with sandals, holes in socks, and what have […]

24 10 2011
1000 Things We Hate #8: Pictures Looking Down at Shoes/Feet « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] more on feet and socks check out socks with boots, socks getting wet, socks with sandals, holes in socks, and what have […]

27 12 2011
UPDATES! Yay! « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] FINGERLESS GLOVES DOLPHINS OIL SPILLS CROCS PAULA DEEN TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME WET SOCKS […]

6 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #220: Missing Socks « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] have talked a great deal about socks at this site.  Apparently, covering socks with holes, wet socks, boots with socks showing, and socks with sandals was NOT enough!  One can make an argument that […]

8 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #221: Mismatched Socks « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] last 1000 Things We Hate post about socks.  So far, I have exhausted myself with socks that are wet, missing, holey, extending themselves past the edge of the bootline, and worn with sandals.  […]

8 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #103: Boots with Socks (showing) « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] here at 1000 Things We Hate.  For further posts on those things that wrap our feet check out: wet socks, holey socks, socks with sandals, lost socks in the laundry, and mismatched […]

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