1000 Things We Hate #208: Bull Horns on Trucks

13 12 2011

Slick, Stylish, Lethal

Hay, I’m about the wonderful land of hix.  We do crazyyy things to cars.  LIKE PUTTING BULL HORNS ON THEM!

Yeehaw!!!

Alright, it has proven that people are under the assumption that they are wild mofos if they put horns on their cars.  In the picture above, you are presented with a stylish, metal set of horns. Well, where I come from, THEY USE REAL BULL HORNS.  Or, better yet, real motherfuckin’ skulls!  It’s scary seeing a large truck in your rear view mirror with the skull of something once living brazened on the front.

Seriously, it screams “Don’t fuck with that dude!” But, at the same time, it screams “YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHE, FUCKHEAD!”

My type'a folk right thar!

The worst part is that these are the people that probably drive around with guns in their cars or tailgate OR EAT BABY LIZARDS.  Overall, it’s obvious they are compensating for something… probably their small feet (OH NO! I HAVE SMALL FEET! Where’s my hood ornament!?).  I just don’t see the point.  Unless you’re a hunter celebrating your kill.  But, alas, hunting’s weird.  I like to eat all of my animals from their cages (just kidding PETA!).

What makes this hate even more disgusting (based upon my lack of holiday cheer) is when people put Wreaths on the front of their cars.

Smilez for all!

Okay, this aspect of the hate has a couple of things going for it.  One, I heavily dislike holidays. Two, I dislike things that relate to holidays.  Three, are you seriously putting a fucking pansy-ass wreath on the front of your jolly raised truck?  That’s like putting a cockring with faulty batteries on your dick.  Seriously, what the fuck?

Putting things on the front of your car is just ridiculous.  Stop it. STOP IT!

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For horrifying adventures with things adorning cars, check out Honor Student Bumper Stickers or Dogs Vs. Honor Student Bumper Stickers!

And, it’s always safe to take a gander at the MASTER LIST for all of your hateful needs.


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4 responses

15 12 2011
1000 Things We Hate #209: Christmas Wreaths « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] we have to rip branches off of trees, warp them in some absurd way, and hang them on our doors (or trucks).  Let’s put a pretty bow on top of that and call it good.  OR, Ooh! Fake snow (I love […]

1 08 2012
Lisa

Of course, these things on the front of trucks are irksome, however, it is not as bad as what one sometimes sees in the back. Balls for trucks, oh yes, they are very popular in some places. I have two young daughters and balls on trucks just makes me mad! Why should I have to try to explain that to my children? I’m sorry, but your truck is gender-free! Live with it!

2 08 2012
MechanisticMoth

Haha! I hadn’t thought of this one, but it is distinctly obvious. You always find yourself behind that one truck. I would imagine that the combination would be astoundingly infuriating.

22 04 2013
Tofuti

We don’t bag on what you have hanging from your mirror, so don’t bag on us for decorating our trucks – having problems explaining sex to your kids??? Maybe you need the balls more than my truck!!!

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