1000 Things We Hate #216: Commemorative Coins

5 01 2012

Ahhh, yes.  The natural, late night slew of television ads flooding your television as you’re trying to watch those few shows that might show boobs or swear a bit more.  Low and behold, you get a new ad every week about a spanking fresh commemorative coin.  But! They swear that that coin is SPECIAL.

Yes, yes, yes.  THAT AD IS EVERYWHERE.  But, there is a limited mint to a REALLY STUPID COIN.  It’s a coin worth probably $1 yet they build it up and charge you $20 for it.  Coin collectors FROWN down upon these stupid television shopping channel coins.  The coins are the bane of collector’s existence because people entering the field think that they are AWESOME with their brand new, ordered off TV coin.

Now, let’s get started on how RIDICULOUS these coins are.  They are usually super patriotic with grandstanding music and epic visuals.  They are meant to boil up that tiny bit of patriotic fervor in you into something great – great enough to buy their stupid coin, obviously.  Take, for example, the video above which inspired this post.  This video is hilarious because of how it makes Seal Team Six out to be superheroes.  They are so awesome they get a FUCKING COIN.  A very complicated coin with lots of shiny nooks and crannies on it!  Way to kill a guy (read our 1000 Things We Hate post on Osama Bin Laden here), screw a bunch of things up, and then give some sort of happiness to Americans.  Mind you, they are making a coin because we successfully KILLED a guy.  Let’s celebrate in death, everyone!  Come on!

These coins obviously appeal to the Conservatives in all of us.  Hoarding onto our special money and celebrating in victory by killing a guy.  Imagine if you actually bought all of the coins as advertised on TV.  THAT WOULD BE FUCKING NUTS.

I think I could do it.

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For more 1000 Things We Hate, we would like to direct your eyes to an online special of the MASTER LIST.


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