1000 Things We Hate #220: Missing Socks

6 02 2012

Hello all!  It’s been awhile!

We have talked a great deal about socks at this site.  Apparently, covering socks with holes, wet socks, boots with socks showing, mismatched socks, and socks with sandals was NOT enough!  One can make an argument that ALL OF THOSE are things that someone out there may like.  I LOVE it when my socks are holey, wet, and covered in sandals.  I go out of my way while dripping BBQ sauce from my fatty burger on them at my favorite restaurant Red Robin to show off my fabulous, horrid foot apparel.  Indeed, I capture chipmunks in those socks and feed them TO WOLVES.

That’s how much I like those socks…

…but not really.

Here’s something EVERYONE can (should, unless you’re A FOOL) agree upon: losing socks in the laundry fucking socks.  Like, you couldn’t hit the ball off of the Tee in T-Ball and it was raining mildew croutons outside sucks.  Or, you got hit in the face in a playpen by a foam bat filled with hotdogs sucks.

Here’s the scenario: you, dreading the endeavor of doing your laundry, throw everything off your floor into your hamper.  You, grumblingly go to the laundry room (or the laundromat).  You, post-laundry folding everything discover you have one sock without its opposite twin.  You, frantically trying to search in all of the crevices of your room for that one sock.


A part of you dies on the inside every time you lose a sock.  It’s been a part of you, physically attached to your foot for hours on end!  It weeps when you’re away and hums when you’re together!  There’s a certain syncing between your foot and your sock something that cannot be truly replaced.

Then, in all of the great injustices of the world, YOU HAVE TO BUY NEW SOCKS.  Seriously, what the hell?

Where do all of those socks go?  Gremlins!?  Aliens!?  Your stalker’s vault!?
I would like to think they go to all of those places… or a good home, like underneath your dog’s sleeping mat.


Missed us!?  Well, you can always travelogue your way to our index of 1000 Things We Hate at the MASTER LIST!  Enjoy!



7 responses

6 02 2012
Bragging Rights « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] the way, I’d just like to celebrate and say that that last post on missing socks is my 200th post on 1000 Things We Hate (not necessarily all of them being 1000 Things We Hate […]

8 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #221: Mismatched Socks « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] 1000 Things We Hate post about socks.  So far, I have exhausted myself with socks that are wet, missing, holey, extending themselves past the edge of the bootline, and worn with sandals.  Seriously, […]

8 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #103: Boots with Socks (showing) « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] posts on those things that wrap our feet check out: wet socks, holey socks, socks with sandals, lost socks in the laundry, and mismatched […]

8 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #189: Wet Socks « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] For related posts on socks, we recommend Socks with Holes, Socks and Sandals, Socks with Boots, Mismatched Socks, and Missing Socks. […]

8 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #190: Holes in Socks « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] you’re in the neighborhood, you can also make your eyes peep at boots with socks showing, missing socks, and mismatched […]

8 02 2012
1000 Things We Hate #191: Socks with Sandals « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] 1000 Things We Hate #220: Missing Socks « 1000 Things We Hate (17:57:37) : […]

23 05 2012
1000 Things We Hate #239: Electric Blankets « 1000 Things We Hate

[…] about an electric blanket.  But, you could burn at any second – worst of all, YOU COULD LOSE A SOCK.  There are limits people, […]

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