1000 Things We Hate #236: Lighting Stores

22 03 2012

Two days ago I went on a drive to a territory I had yet to explore.  The purpose of this adventure?  My dentist moved offices from 3 blocks away to about 115 blocks away.  Yes, I am that devoted to getting my teeth cleaned/lazy to find a closer dentist.

Anyway, I wrangled my way back onto I-5 North.  While driving along I saw on the left hand side a lighting store.  At this moment I had a sense of enlightenment not achieved through zazen (seated meditation) or koans (basically riddles).  The realization was this: Lighting stores are extremely stupid.

Here’s why –

Apparently there’s this whole thing called global warming going on.  Yet, lighting stores nearly every day blast probably a 1000 light bulbs at their full lighting potential.  Some lighting stores go for really bright and others for something more nuanced.  Either way, the lights are on and draining a bunch of energy.  In my experience of being in lighting stores (and really, I’ve only been inside one probably four times), they do not use energy saving lightbulbs as much as they should.  You have an opportunity to save the environment while killing it!  A way to solve this could be leaving the house lights on and turning each special lighting fixture on individually while explaining to the customer the benefits of that lighting fixture.  It will allow the customers to zero in on something they like based upon the salesmanship of the employee.

On top of all of this energy draining mayhem, lighting stores are EXTREMELY cluttered.  You are faced with a dizzying amount of lights hung at all angles.  Which can be dangerous for someone like me who’s very tall and can hit their head easily.  I think lighting stores just go with this overwhelming amount of lights to cause panic attacks.  And really, how advantageous is it to have so many lights?  The customer cannot really zero in on one in particular and know how it shines because everything else is buzzing along.  How drab is that?

There are some really boring jobs out there, but I believe that existing as a light consultant has to be one of the worst.  Very few people enter your place of business and many do not leave with lighting fixtures because the place is SO expensive.  I’m sure there’s a lot of knowledge to be had about the world of lights, but it just doesn’t seem very invigorating.

A store full of lights just seems like a waste of electricity and time.  It may be fun for a child to enter one, but I feel like they’d run into something… because that’s what children do.  And get electrocuted.  Okay, lighting stores sound like a very bad place for children.  And humans, in general.


Are we lighting up your life!? Well, look for other humorous hates over at the MASTER LIST.



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