1000 Things We Hate #240: Mullet Dress

25 05 2012

Wait… wait just a second.  *cough* *choke* *splurtle*

Raughghumkumarrrghhhh

*wipes lips and puts down toilet seat*

Sorry about that you guys!  I think I just vomited two tons of bile!  Go me!

Let’s get serious for a momen… *cough* *cough* *Hrumm*

Okay, okay.  I’m good.

I, like very little of you, thought that mullets were a cool, retro thing (this is a lie).  They totally rocked it (with sliminess).  You could get the best of both worlds (war of the worlds): a slick, short front with a long, manly mane (I think I might throw up again).  They were the best things ever (I’m totally lying)!

And guess what!  They’re making a comeback in fashion!  Sure, it started out with the scene lady mullet, and now it has exited the realm of the indie obscure to the fashion industry’s dresses.

I love this image for so many reasons…

What is a mullet dress?  Well, it begins with a short skirt-like front and it ends with a dangling thing hanging out the back.  I suppose it’s a great way to show the front of your legs off, but to keep your back concealed for fear of having your butt hang out.  On the other hand, many of the dresses are strapless.  So, one wrong step may result in your pulling down the front of your dress and letting your breasts take a swim in the free world.

The strange thing about these dresses is how reminiscent they are to jelly fish.  IS IT BECAUSE THEY STING!? HAHAHAHAHAHAAA… I had to.  But really, there’s a reason as to why we don’t imitate sea life… it’s underwater…we’re above water.  Become a mermaid in the bedroom.

They’re impractical, a bad throwback to the past, revolting, and do not make much sense… SO BUY ONE.

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Wow, those dresses are bad!  You can check out our many critiques of fashion at the MASTER LIST.  Or, just take a peek at a few of our top fashion posts…

 The ever wonderful LEGGINGS, the irritating BOOTS WITH SOCKS SHOWING, and the slightly cool but painfully upsetting FLOWER HEADBANDS.


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